unhappy

This is the state of mind that I hate the most. I AM UNHAPPY.

I don't like the workplace, I don't like the job, I don't like most of the people in the job as well. It's not gonna be an easy ride for me. I have 4 more weeks to go after I'm done this week and I'm not sure I can stomach everything till then. :( It's a pathetic job with a pathetic pay. I can actually sit here all night in front of the PC and teach English to Japanese and earn slightly more than what I'd get from that job. -__-

But I had to apply because my parents are itching to get rid of me, not really get rid of me entirely but just not see me 24 hours a day, as they've had for 4-5 months now. They're pretty sick of me sitting/lying in my room with my laptop in front of me and not earning a single cent. I'm getting sick of it myself to be honest but I'd rather do that than stay in that company and hate myself for the rest of my life.

Well, this sucks. Life sucks. I've been having a shitty life for a while now and I'm tired of it. I'm  not suicidal so no, I'm not going to end my life. I'm just tired of being like this. But I, myself, have no idea where to start. I went into a different line of work just because I needed and wanted to earn money so where did it take me? NOWHERE. -__- I hate my life.

Sometimes, I just wish some stupid, rich foreigner would gain interest in me, enough to marry me and just take me out of this place and let me live a luxurious life without even lifting a finger on anything. I wish for so many things but I can't make it happen because I don't have an idea where I have to begin. Ugh. This rant is depressing.

And this fangirling, this is the only way I can forget about how pathetic my life has gotten. But it's not good for the wallet. Fangirling, I mean. :| I should probably just put myself on sale or something, maybe some old man will pick me and decide to give me tons of money for me to use in fangirling. LOL. That's ew. Ew. Ew. xD

I'm not sure if I can last in this job. This isn't a job for me, this is HELL on earth. This industry, in general, for me, is hell. A lot of perverted and rude people, which I do not like. I was not raised to deal with these kind of people. I should have a better job, I should have better compensation but right now, I'm stuck. I'm stuck with these rude people who thinks you're a freakin' weirdo if you don't speak their way.

Ugh. Upsetting. I hate my life right now. Probably still gonna hate it more in the coming days. Oh FUN.