100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 13

A picture of your favorite band or artist

They are my inspirations. They are the reason I listen to music. They are the love of my life. They are the most amazing groups in Asia. They are the most talented groups ever produced. They are the record breaking artists who have proven again and again that they are and will remain the best.

I had been in the DBSK fandom since 2004. I am an OT5 fan. I will support all 5 of them and will continue to wait till we see them back together again. :)

I knew about AKB48 just last October of 2010. I became an instant fan the moment I laid eyes on my oshi, Maeda Atsuko. :) I've been following their sister groups SKE48 and NMB48 as well.

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 12

A picture of something you love

Books. I love reading. I love libraries. I love bookstores. I love the smell of a new book. I love the smell of an old book. I love how reading can be informative and how it can take you to worlds that may or may not exist. It's an adventure, a history, a great story. If I would be given the chance to work in a library, I might never leave and just read and read and read. :)

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 11

A picture of something you hate

I have arachnophobia. I am terrified of spiders. I don't plan on finding out how to cure my fear. I know I will never be cured. Even looking at pictures [yes, even that drawn one I used] make me nauseous. When I was searching for a picture, I was careful not to see anything that would freak me out. :( I just can't stand them.. If I see them crawling to a room, trust that I won't go to that room unless I see their dead body. If I see them, I scream for my mother to kill them. My mother has told me time and time again not to freak out and have her kill those huge spiders because they contribute in the 'food chain' but I just can't stand them.

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 10

A picture of the person you do the most messed up things with

Maechan DongsaengUnni

I didn't ask permission to post this.. She's gonna flip when she finds out. xD But.. just as the challenge suggests, she's the person I do/can do the most messed up things with. Mainly because though we no longer belong to the same 'main' fandom, we respect each other's differences and we make the most of our similarities. :) I met Mae unni online way back in April 2006 and we've met at least 4 times already, the last one was back in September when we went to MOA to watch BlockB. :)

I met her in a Super Junior forum and maybe because our age were the closest [most of the fangirls in the forum were at least 6-7 years younger than me in average] that's why we got along instantly. And maybe the fact that we share the same 'pervy' thoughts and 'cracked' minds made us close. xD

Though we were both busy doing our own thing now and we haven't talked/chatted in YM in such a long time, we're still close. :) And we're making plans of stalking people next year... LOLOLOLOL

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 9

A picture of the person who has gotten you through the most

I'm serious. He really is that person. I know you might think that it's the 'typical' fangirl answer but I can't be more serious than I am now. You know the song 'Close by Westlife'? I'm going to quote some lines that made me remember Jaejoong...

"You give me strength .. You give me hope .. You give me someone to love someone to hold"

Jaejoong is an extremely important person to me. I respect him with all my heart and I accept his flaws. Yes, I know he has flaws. No, I am not your typical fangirl. I don't act like "OMFG AKakjfalkj I'm gonna marry Jaejoong, He's mine.. STFU. He's mine~ WAaaaaahh !!!!!11111"... I spazz, yes, but never that way... And yes, there are actually fangirls like me~ :)

I suppose you can't really say that I've been through a lot. I haven't experience the kind of grief that most people do, I haven't had my heart broken to a point where I had to break down or do something stupid to myself. You can consider me lucky but I think I'm just ... careful. Maybe weird. Or dull? Boring? Whatever it is that you think about me.

But Jaejoong had been ... such an inspiration, such a strong hold for me to keep going, maybe not with life in general but with the fandom. He had inspired me to stay strong and not give up. When the fandom was striving to keep our faith together, he's been always there for us. He, who's in the middle of all this chaos and should be the one hurting, has been keeping us strong and trying his best to keep us together, at some point the one who comforts us. He is a very special person. And I hope nothing but for him to be happy in life. To a point where I don't really care if I don't end up happy with mine, just as long as he is happy in his own life. :)

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 8

A picture that makes you laugh

I actually had to look at all the pictures I've saved but because most of my personal pictures are 'gone', I had to choose what I thought was the most appropriate one for this. But it's not like I don't laugh whenever I see this photo. xD I had to hide the faces behind the picture because I didn't ask for permission to post it. xD

They're my friends from my previous work place. The photo was taken from an event at the office. We had this "Santa Cruzan", I think June 2009, where the selected girls of each team pose as escorts and the selected boys will be their muses. xD I'm actually part of it because back then I was the only female member in the L3 team so I had no choice but to comply. xD Back to this photo.. they're my friends and they're in our [Tagalog] term, "magkakabarkada". It was intentional that they were the ones chosen from their teams and they agreed just for fun! xD

Looking at it just... xD OMFG LOOK AT THEIR BODIES HAHAHAHAHA. xD

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 7

A picture of your most treasured item

I couldn't decide which one is my most treasured. If my house was caught on fire, these are the 3 things I'm going to save first. Yes, no matter how heavy my 2 boxes of DBSK merchandises are. -__-

I can't live without my ipod. There was a time last week when it just turned off and refused to turn on for more than 30 minutes, I silently cried because it has everything I need to go on in life. 8O Surprising? Yes, it's true. My ipod was the reason why I was able to stay sane when people started ganging up on me. I listened to the music I uploaded in it and my gloomy life becomes brighter. And no matter how ancient it is [it's a 2nd generation ipod touch], I treasure it a lot. [Proud to say, I'm the first one to have it in my previous workplace esp when people think it's just an expensive mp3/mp4 player... all thanks to our Jaejoongie, who influenced me to buy it 3 years ago!]

Of course, I treasure my laptop. It's a year old now and it's been my best friend for as long as that. :) I had wanted a Sony Vaio laptop for the longest time and I'm glad I got one. I 'might' be switching to another one next year though. [Not a Windows one, hoho]...

And I'm a crazy fangirl, therefore I treasure my merchandises! :) They're proof of my undying love for my boys and proof of my hardwork as a fangirl. It makes me proud seeing I collected so much items to support my boys... esp since some of them are 'limited' items.. ^^

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 6

A picture of a person you’d love to trade places with for a day

No, not Jaejoong but Jiji, his cat XD. I know the meme said 'person' but I can't help it. I want to be Jiji for a day. I want to be hugged by Jaejoong, get played at by Jaejoong [not in the perverted way of course] and just sleep beside him and be held by him [again, in an innocent way ok? geez.. xD] I want to be able to observe him for a day without fear of getting sideeyed as a stalker. LOL. To see how he spends his day and be part of that day. Yes, even as a cat. -__- We, Jaejoong stans, are miserable, I know... for wanting to be a cat, just even for a day. D8

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 5

A picture of your favorite memory

This will forever be one of my favorite memories! :) The first time I saw our boys... the first time I heard them sing live... The first time I went to so much trouble just for my boys.. The first time I went out of the country... The first time I traveled miles away with friends.. And I'm glad to have gone through the trouble of going to Thailand for my boys... I can proudly say that I've seen them all perform as a group, I've seen them perform their classic, "Love in the Ice" live... :)

Here's the details from that night: My Epic Fail Fanaccount

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 4

A picture of your night

Wait, don't give me that look... :\ Let me explain what this means... basically, this is how my night is. After watching the news and the TV Drama 100 Days to Heaven, all I do is go online till I decide that it's my bedtime. x| I know, it's boring but that's basically how I love spending my night. Twitter, Tumblr and occasionally, Facebook... some forum and news sites to check what's new in Fandom...

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 3

A picture of the cast from your favorite show.

Stefan, Elena, Damon
The Vampire Diaries

I don't think there really is a need to elaborate this. This is the only TV Show I'm watching right now and it has climbed to the top as one of my favorite shows ever. :)

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 2

A picture of you and the person you have been close with for the longest

I don't really have someone I'm close with whom I can talk to anything about [aside from my imaginary friend lmao, I'm kidding.. xD] but if it's someone I'm just close with, of course, it's going to be my elder sister.. :)

Me and my elder sister Yden, taken last 26/02 at SS3 Manila

I remembered back in high school, we always went out together to walk to the market and look for cassette tapes of our favorite boybands. xD She loves Backstreet Boys, I love Westlife. And we were fans of the Moffatts. [I'm embarrassed to say that now.. xD Teenage years, why so embarrassing? xD] Some people had asked us if we were twins because they often see us together. We don't look anything alike. LOL. I'm taller and bigger than her. She always sports short hair, I love my hair long. Our voices might sound almost the same but we're very different from one another. :)

100 Day Photo Challenge : Day 1

A picture of yourself with fifteen facts about yourself

Fifteen facts about ME: [these are all random, i just put things that came to mind..]

→ I want to travel the world. It is my lifelong dream. I want to see the beautiful world wonders, the historical buildings, the museums, the mountains, the animals, the changing colors of leaves, the flowers, the people, the culture, everything.

→ I don't know how to swim. I don't know how to drive. I don't know how to ride a bike. I certainly don't know how to fly.

→ I like eating spicy food. I hate eating chocolate candies/bars but I love eating chocolate pastries. I also like looking at pretty foods.

→ Unlike what most people believe, I don't think ones soulmate is always of the opposite sex. What I mean is, it doesn't always have to be someone you have to be romantically linked with. I believe that ones soulmate can be anyone, like his/her mother, father, anyone from his/her family, his/her neighbor, his/her best friend.

→ I wanted to live in the past, specifically in the Renaissance England. It's also the time of history that I want to read about the most. I'm a huge history buff.

→ I like browsing vintage photos. I love looking back to the 1920s, 1930s through black and white photos.

→ I'm not a pessimistic person but I think people who are overly optimistic are fake people. Most of the people I met who shows that they're overly optimistic are the most pessimistic people I've ever met.

→ My favorite colors are pink, red, yellow and sky blue. I hate black, brown, gray, dark blue and maroon. I think of them as the dirty looking colors. :\

→ I don't do any house chores. :| I dislike cleaning. I don't know how to wash dishes, how to cook, how to do the laundry and all sort of things.

→ I hate talking on the phone. I hate receiving phone calls. I don't think there's anything fun with talking on the phone for so long.

→ I love reading manga. I read almost all genres but my favorites are usually shoujo and yaoi. Yes, yaoi.

→ I don't believe in love at first sight. I don't believe in everlasting love, one that promises forever. I don't think it exists.

→ I don't like wearing makeup. I hate looking artificial. Yes, it does make people look beautiful but I think of it as a tool for fake beauty, for fooling others.

→ I love watching movies alone. I find joy in sitting alone in the movie house while the beauty of the movie plays. I get to appreciate the story and the actors more.

→ I may have Chinese blood in me. Yes, I'm not sure. I would have to trace my family tree from way back to find out about this. I included this because people I meet for the first time always mistake me for being Chinese. One of my previous teammate from my previous work always, as in she never fails to do this, ask me about my family plans whenever Chinese New Year arrives. [Same goes for my elder sister. Some of my friends call my mother 'Tita Koreana'. Chesca, my niece, gets mistaken as Korean as well.]

pathetic

Let me talk about the job and the people I'm training with.

I mentioned about hating the workplace, the job and the people on my last blog post in September. I haven't changed my mind. I still hate the workplace, the job and the people.

I did not wish to apply to the company but I'm running out of options. It's almost Christmas holidays and I need money, so I took my parents' advise and went ahead and apply in the company. Did I enjoy applying there? No. Did I find the place nice enough for me to stay long? No. Did I find anything to make me stay at all? No. I have no reason to stay. But I have to because right now, that's the only option I have. It doesn't make sense, I know. I can't find any sense in what I'm doing, honestly. My life has been pretty meaningless for sometime now. :|

The job. Goodness. The repetitive job that I'm trying to avoid has come haunting me. I do not wish to do any of the things we're training for. I left my previous job because it's stressful and repetitive. But here I am, trying to stomach this training and make it look like I'm so happy I'm part of this training class? WTF AM I DOING REALLY? I am torturing myself. I just can't stand doing it but I keep doing it. I'm a masochist. A freakin' stupid masochist.

The people. Our class is somewhat divided. There's the noisy, perverted, happy standouts and there's the quiet, nicer ones. Guess what? I don't belong to any of each. I go solo. They have their own people to go with and I walk alone. I am the weird and odd one who doesn't talk at all. But I don't hate it. They might judge me as a loner, a freak but I don't really care. I don't trust people anymore. I've been through so much from my previous workplace that I don't know who to trust anymore. And this environment that I am in, it's almost the same one I left. :|

And the topics that these people are talking about are disturbing and disgusting. They keep talking about personal issues or their personal lives. It is called "personal" for a reason. Why do you have to tell everyone about something that's not supposed to be said? Why do you have to force people to talk about something they don't want to talk about? Something that only people they're close with are supposed to know? Is it mandatory to tell everyone about your sex life? And if you don't tell stories, you're a loser? Where are we? In Highschool?

I just don't get it. What is this mentality? I can't stand it. That's why I don't laugh at jokes. I do sometimes but very, very rare times. I just don't understand it and I don't want any of it. I can stomach it for a month, maybe two but that's my limit. I have to find a better job than this. I don't ever want to come back to this nature of job. I don't think I deserve to be in this field of work. No matter how capable I am. This is really hell on earth for me. :|

Accident

Hi. *sigh* I feel sorry for not being able to post anything new. I said a few weeks ago that I'd probably be posting more since I have loads of stories to tell from the training. :| Well, I do.

But first off, let me tell you about a sad incident that happened a week ago. On my father's way to the church (he's on his motorbike), he met an accident. A car (Isuzu Sportivo) hit the motorbike which led of course to my father getting injured. :(

The time it happened, there was only me, my eldest sister and her babies at home. My brother-in-law, who was also going to church that time found our father maybe 15minutes after the accident and called home as soon as they reached the hospital. Me and my sister were in disbelief. Though we always thought that my father is prone to traffic accident, we didn't expect him to get into an accident when riding his motorbike (because he's always careful when on his bike). But he's kind of a reckless driver because he's old, you know how old people always want to get their way on the road.. Plus I've been in 2 traffic accidents with my father driving, in fact, I still have problems looking at intersections when I'm riding any vehicle. [The bus ride is a different story. My heart still beats frantically when I ride a bus. -__-]

It wasn't his fault. It was the driver of the Sportivo's fault. My father was carefully crossing an intersection when the Sportivo hit him. That car shouldn't have went straight to him because the road past my father is a one way street. But he did, that's why my father was hit. The car's driver shouldered the responsibility as he found out he was the one in the wrong.

I heard my brother-in-law telling my sister how he found my father after the accident. He said my father was sitting in the corner of a street and there were people eyeing what happened. My father's forehead was bleeding and his shirt was torn with blood smeared all over it. :( No one was doing anything. :( It was such a good thing that my brother-in-law left the house after my father, for if not, who's going to take my father to the hospital if the people around were just looking? :( My bro-in-law also mentioned about the car's driver staying in the car after the accident with his wife was crying. The driver wasn't going out not because he refused to take responsibility but because he was so shocked at what happened; he was trembling.

After taking my father to the hospital, my bro-in-law called home and my eldest sister, his wife, received the call. I was just sitting in a corner watching TV. After telling me about the accident, I just stood there, trying to process the news. My eldest sister tried to call my elder sister (who is currently in the mall with our mother) and my brother. My elder sister didn't get to answer the call but my brother called as soon as my eldest sister hang up the phone. When my elder sister and our mother came home (just a few minutes after our last call), we informed them. We told them that my brother will be fetching them to go to the hospital. We couldn't possibly all go since there's a 1-week old baby, a 1-year-and-7-month old little girl, we had to worry about. I was left with my eldest sister and her babies. We just waited for news from my brother and sister.

They did a CT scan on my father and found a small crack on his skull, somewhere between his nose and left eye. We couldn't possibly just let him go home of course. But we had to get a second opinion from another hospital because the first hospital we sent him to was 'a bit' unreliable. After arranging the papers, they took my father to a better hospital and got him treated there. The hospital did another CT scan to make sure that the crack wouldn't result to any other damage like blood clot. Thank goodness, the doctors said it wouldn't, as long as the proper medications were taken. My father went home last Thursday and he's currently resting. He can walk okay now but still get dizzy from time to time but he's doing really okay. I'm just glad. We're all glad. :)

unhappy

This is the state of mind that I hate the most. I AM UNHAPPY.

I don't like the workplace, I don't like the job, I don't like most of the people in the job as well. It's not gonna be an easy ride for me. I have 4 more weeks to go after I'm done this week and I'm not sure I can stomach everything till then. :( It's a pathetic job with a pathetic pay. I can actually sit here all night in front of the PC and teach English to Japanese and earn slightly more than what I'd get from that job. -__-

But I had to apply because my parents are itching to get rid of me, not really get rid of me entirely but just not see me 24 hours a day, as they've had for 4-5 months now. They're pretty sick of me sitting/lying in my room with my laptop in front of me and not earning a single cent. I'm getting sick of it myself to be honest but I'd rather do that than stay in that company and hate myself for the rest of my life.

Well, this sucks. Life sucks. I've been having a shitty life for a while now and I'm tired of it. I'm  not suicidal so no, I'm not going to end my life. I'm just tired of being like this. But I, myself, have no idea where to start. I went into a different line of work just because I needed and wanted to earn money so where did it take me? NOWHERE. -__- I hate my life.

Sometimes, I just wish some stupid, rich foreigner would gain interest in me, enough to marry me and just take me out of this place and let me live a luxurious life without even lifting a finger on anything. I wish for so many things but I can't make it happen because I don't have an idea where I have to begin. Ugh. This rant is depressing.

And this fangirling, this is the only way I can forget about how pathetic my life has gotten. But it's not good for the wallet. Fangirling, I mean. :| I should probably just put myself on sale or something, maybe some old man will pick me and decide to give me tons of money for me to use in fangirling. LOL. That's ew. Ew. Ew. xD

I'm not sure if I can last in this job. This isn't a job for me, this is HELL on earth. This industry, in general, for me, is hell. A lot of perverted and rude people, which I do not like. I was not raised to deal with these kind of people. I should have a better job, I should have better compensation but right now, I'm stuck. I'm stuck with these rude people who thinks you're a freakin' weirdo if you don't speak their way.

Ugh. Upsetting. I hate my life right now. Probably still gonna hate it more in the coming days. Oh FUN.

Babies :)

I'm sorry if I haven't posted in a while, dear blog. I really had nothing much to post about these past few days. I've finished The Vampire Diaries 1&2 and also episode 1 of season 3 and now I want to rewatch everything because I already miss it and I don't know what to do because episode 2 is yet to air. Damon has a lot to do with it. xD I've become a full pledged Damon fangirl. [Sorry Stefan, there's just a lot of things about Damon that makes me want/like him more.. xD Apparently, Elena refuse to see that.. xD]

Anyways, I haven't mentioned it yet, but we have a new baby in the house. \o/ We finally have a baby boy. Not my baby but my eldest sister's baby. I have 3 nieces [2 from eldest sister and 1 from my brother] and this baby makes it our first baby boy in the family. :) I will post pictures of my 3 nieces and my nephew. 8) I may be answering some random 'about myself' meme in the future, if I get more bored than I already am. xD

Here are the photos: [doing this by age]

Chesca

Yoan

Chesca is my eldest sister's elder daughter, if you know what I mean. She's my oldest niece at 11 years old. :) Yoan is 1 year and 11 months old. She's my brother's only baby. :)

Chiz

Bella

Bella is my eldest sister's 2nd baby. She's 1 year and 7 months old. And Chiz, our little boy, is my eldest sister's 3rd and last baby. He's 3 days old. :)

Ok, you know a bit about my family.. just a bit~ In the coming days, you might learn more about my 'big' family.. but for now, just look at our beautiful babies! :)

Still Watching

I am still watching Vampire Diaries. I have less than 24 hours to finish season 2 before the new season starts tomorrow. I can finish it, I know. I only have 10 episodes left to watch. x) Yes, that's all I do all day. xD Watch Vampire Diaries. And I have to say, both Elena and Katherine's character is pissing me off. It doesn't help that Nina Dobrev's lips bother me. :x This is an unpopular opinion, I know, cut me some slack and leave me alone.

And hmmm... the Salvatore brothers, I still like Damon more. :) Stefan seems so uptight and serious while Damon is the complete opposite. Plus I like Damon's puns, it makes me laugh. And his actions are really vampire-like. He also reminds me of why I liked Spike from Buffy. Not look wise but personality wise. Not that they're really similar. I did say 'remind'. xD

I have to get back to watching. I will be crazily blogging once I start working again. I assure you that.. xD

Marathon

Oh guess what? I've put watching any anime on hold because I am having another marathon. xD Which one? This one...

Yes, the Vampire Diaries. 8D I wasn't gonna try and watch it but I'm also curious why people loved the series so much. Plus I still haven't finished watching True Blood, so I'm not really fond of the idea of starting a new series to watch but still, I did. I know, I'm late but I'm trying to catch up. I'm currently at Season 1 Episode 12 and I still have 10 episodes in Season 1 and 22 episodes in Season 2 to go but I think I'm going to finish both seasons before Season 3 starts. So yay for me.

I like it. I really do. I'm part of the 'I love Vampire series, movies, books' club. xD And the casts are pretty on the eyes. 8D I like Damon. I liked him more than Stefan. I just thought he was more fun though sometimes a bit illogical. I also like Caroline. Well, not really Caroline but Candice Accola. I thought she's really pretty. Not a girl crush lol. I'm having issues with Nina Dobrev though. I think she's pretty, perfect for the role even but the way she talks, I mean her lips bother me. :x And Stefan [Paul Wesley] is hot. But I still think Damon [Ian Somerhalder] is hotter. xD

Okay, I'm going back to watching. xD Let me finish it before the next season starts tomorrow.

Confessions

Ok so I skipped a day. -__-

I have not been successful with my sorting either. I'm so lazy. Out of focus. Procrastinate a lot. A lot.

And I have read a lot of DBSK Confessions on tumblr. I will post some here and talk about my reaction after I read them. [photo credits: DBSK Confessions Tumblr]

"I think Jaejoong was hurt the most after what happened. He started losing weight and looked tired all the time. It really breaks my heart to see him like this."

I don't really like how the person who confessed this thinks of Jaejoong in her/his first sentence. Jaejoong isn't weak, he isn't strong either. But why do people think he is 'that' weak. Yes, Jaejoong was badly hurt but if anything, I think he was the strongest of the five. Because if not, he wouldn't be able to talk freely about what happened and how much he misses the other two. Yes, everyone was hurt but noone can know who got hurt the most unless we know the whole story, which sadly will never be told. :(

His health might have something to do with the split but it was not entirely or literally because of the split. He was really buff back when he was filming SunaNare and that was after the split. He didn't look tired even after filming the drama. He looked really good during the Thanksgiving concert and A-Nation. He started losing weight when they started doing the showcase, and he lost more right before the worldwide concert started. And now, he's losing more because of his drama. He only started to look tired when they started getting busy again. I remembered looking at him before the concert tour started and thinking he's so thin that he reminds me of his Rising Sun days. He might lose some more as they are still filming and he still gets less sleep than the others.

And yes, it does break my heart to see him how he is now, tired and thin but this is Jaejoong. He knows how to live healthy. He will be back in shape in no time. :) And I bet he knows how worried his fans are for his health so he's going to do something about it for sure. :) 

"I wonder if they'd ever had sex together."

I think it doesn't just speak of the 3, I think the person who confessed this meant it for the 5 of them. I was surprised when I first saw it but it really does make you wonder. I mean, it crossed my mind a lot of times too you know. They're 5 healthy young men who couldn't date freely if they want to and has 'urges'. And this is not because they're my OTP but when I read this, the first couple that came to mind was YunJae. xD I just had that weird feeling that if there's such a thing as members doing it, it would probably be them. xD Or maybe I read too much YunJae smut that it's eating my brains. xD

"I hate having to pretend I like Yunho everyday when deep inside I wish that he would show that he cared more about DBSK."

I was seriously shocked when I read this. Whoever confessed this is a big Yunho anti on the inside. What is wrong with you? What kind of world have you been living in? I get it that you dislike pretending you like him but to think that he doesn't care that much for DBSK, that's just BS. Yes, it didn't make me excited to know that him and Changmin decided to continue on as DBSK without the other 3 but did you even know why Yunho agreed to that? He wants to protect DBSK. He wants to keep it going as they wait for the other 3. He doesn't care? What makes you think he doesn't? Are you his conscience? -__- I wish people would just stop judging these boys based on what they think they know. They're much more passionate than people think. Yunho cares, ok? He cares so much that I know he's willing to do anything to protect the members. Fangirls believe this. I believe this. I believe in him. 

Ugh, that's about enough. I will do the same thing later or maybe tomorrow. I'd be doing an AKB48 Confessions reaction too. :) /goes back to watching Vampire Diaries lol

Busy

I'm a little busy. A little.

I wasn't able to post anything yesterday because I didn't have enough time to type anything. When I was able to get on in the morning, I still tried to fix this blog. By fix, I just meant the music. I added a few more music from Yiruma. :) I was also busy taking care of my niece since my mother had to cook lunch for us. By afternoon, I wasn't able to do much because a friend came over. :) She left at 5pm and that's when I turned off my laptop. And during the night, I was too sleepy to type. -__-; I was also sorting a few picture files that I've not sorted since January I think. And it amounts to 12K+. ;___;

This morning, I was doing the same thing... sorting! :| I successfully sorted 4K+ [AKB48] pictures and I am currently working on the 8K+ remaining. :\ I may not be able to finish doing it today. :[ The files are confusing me just because I needed it neatly sorted. With the dates and stuff but I can't remember the dates of some. And I'm deleting some that I don't find 'worth keeping'.

I am blogging now because I am taking a little time off as I was literally getting dizzy looking at the pictures. I can't believe I've saved so much pictures. :( And honestly, 2-3 years ago, I had almost 200K+ pictures that were left unsorted. -__-; Our computer crashed so those pics were never recovered. :(

I am going to continue right after I'm done with this. LOL.

Also, I had to remind myself to finish/continue watching all the animes I've started watching. :( I think I'm still in episode 16 of Darker than Black (黒の契約者), episode 5 of Uta no Prince-sama (うたの☆プリンスさまっ♪), episode 15 of Ao no Exorcist (青の祓魔師), episode 9 of No. 6, episode 19 of Pandora Hearts, and I can't remember where I stopped in One Piece because I read the manga instead. :[ I want to watch Durarara! ;___; But I have to finish Darker than Black and Pandora Hearts first then catch up with Uta no Prince-sama, Ao no Exorcist and No. 6. I have to do all that in 2 weeks since I am going to start my training on Sept. 26! :\

Speaking of training, I also need to read about the company and the people I'm gonna work with. -__- [And try to find a better job too]. I don't really like the company I'm going to work at or the job I'm gonna be doing but I have no choice for now. I have to earn money since it's the "BER" months already. Plus, I have to help in paying the bills. -__- Also, we're gonna be spending loads of money as the holiday seasons is coming. :\ I don't even know why we bother... we don't celebrate Christmas anyways. -__-

I'm gonna head back to sorting. I'm sorry this is such a boring post. :| I'm gonna try to post as much as I can everyday. Promise! :)

Reality Check

What have I been doing these past few months when I resigned from work? Honestly, I have no idea.

Originally, the plan was to move out of the country and find a job in Singapore. That didn't work out too well. A friend who went there as early as March and returned last May didn't get a job. :( So my hope was crushed. I tried to move on and try other things. My other friend who resigned a month earlier than me made me rethink my plans and has asked me if I want to go to Dubai instead, I kind of agreed. Kind of. Not much of an intention there but at least I tried, or not. Well, as you know that didn't work out too well either.

When I think back, I just couldn't find it in me to like the idea of going to Dubai. I hated the sun, I hate hot weather and where am I supposed to go? Middle East. Where the sun is hotter than normal. Or something. And it's not that the plan didn't work out well, I actually gave up. I couldn't find a job that suit my experience or my course for that matter. If you must know, I have yet to practice my college degree. -__- Though its a bit late for me to do that now. Ugh. How did it end up like this?

I kind of regretted taking up Computer Engineering. Not kind of. I really, really regret it. It wasn't my interest. It's a spur of a moment thing. It was a new course available in our school and I thought, "hey, it's Engineering and it doesn't have a licensure exam, it doesn't have accounting.. ok, I'll take you!" BIG MISTAKE. I'm not even that good in math [as you all know, all Engineering courses have loads of Math subjects]. I actually thought it would have been better if I listened to my parents and took up education. I'd like to teach young kids. Not pre-school young but those in elementary. ;___; I want to teach English or History. I love History. :[

Personal issues aside, I have some fandom related stuff to tackle. xD But first, I want to congratulate JYJ for doing an all-kill on the online charts since last night for their new song 'Get Out'. Though it's not really new, as it had been sung on concerts, but still, this is the studio version so it's sorta new. LOL.

What fandom stuff am I going to talk about? Well, you know how in tumblr -confessions is kind of a trend? I have this one [actually, there's a lot but this just tops it] confession that I'd like to share here. It's this one:

"When did we start caring more about what we want than their happiness?"

In twitter, you read a lot of things that people say about fandom, this fandom. It's been tough, we all know. It's been 2 years since the trio [Jaejoong, Yoochun, Junsu] filed for a lawsuit against SME and almost 2 years since we all last saw them together. I know the fandom is divided right now [pro-HoMin anti-JYJ, pro-JYJ anti-HoMin, OT5] and there are still those stupid fanwars going on everytime one division say something but I don't really know why some people has stopped caring more about the boys' happiness. It makes me sad.

There are people who want them to rush getting back and performing together as a group again. But we can't rush these things. We are stuck like this right now because we still have no idea how this lawsuit will end. That's why we have to wait. If you can't wait, people will understand. But don't push these thoughts as if it's just gonna happen because you want it to. If anything, I think our boys are more eager to meet again and be one again, but with the situation right now its just impossible.

Some people want Yunho & Changmin to stop promoting as a duo, as DBSK/TVXQ. I for one isn't comfortable calling them as such but I have nothing against them performing as DBSK/TVXQ. [Maybe a bit bitter when they sing group songs but still...] Why? Do you want them to just sit around and wait until this lawsuit ends? What if it takes more years? Are you that selfish to have them stop doing what they love to do, performing? They're getting older and the time they have to perform for us is getting more and more limited. They want this. They deserve to do what they know will make them happy. 

Others want Jaejoong, Yoochun & Junsu to stop pushing for their dreams. Just like Yunho & Changmin, they deserve to do what they want. They're fighting for what they want and what's wrong with that? Stop bringing these boys down as if they don't have enough trials to get over with. I know they appear strong but as fans, should they really be the one to comfort us and be strong for us? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I know, it hurts. Every night, I go through the same pain as you all are. And every night I wonder if what's happening now is really what makes each one of them happy. I know, we're hurt.. but can you imagine how much more pain this has caused them? Sure, they're men but they are not just some random men who were put together and got separated like nothing. They're friends. I know these things have not turned for the better for both sides but for now, we have to keep supporting them for this is what makes them happy. We might see a 'sad' smile, 'faked' laugh.. but we can't keep wanting things from these boys. They're human too. They might appear strong but they have feelings too. 

Let's not hope for things that would make us happy, let's hope for the things that will make them the happiest. Even if it hurts, because that's what a fan do. Wish for her idols' happiness no matter how much pain it will cause you.

Success?

I deemed it a success, knowing how little knowledge I have when it comes to html editing. :) So ok, I can really start blogging for real now. :)

As you may not know [or know], I tend to have lots of things to say. You can tell if you read my previous blogs [jaejungho on LJ, dreamofkirsten on blogdrive] or just follow me on twitter [dreamofkirsten]. I am random too. But most of the times, I talk about DBSK [all 5], AKB48 and BlockB. There are times when I talk about other people too. Lol. Rare times though. Rare times.

This blog may turn into a fangirling lair so I would like to apologize in advance. xD I'm going to start officially blogging like I used to, tomorrow. :)

So till tomorrow~

Restart

Hi. ^^

I've thought about starting a new blog though I still have 2 existing ones. I have LJ but I am not using it for posting anything anymore. It's become a part of my life but for me it's already a closed chapter, so I'm starting a new one here on blogger/blogspot. I also have a tumblr account but it's not something personal, its just something I keep to make sure I still keep up with the new pictures or information about fandom. :)

Usually, this is the part that I hate the most. Restarting something and introducing myself. I suck at introduction. I can say my name, my interest, what I do, or what I'd love to do but it doesn't usually come out right. So please spare me. I think the only thing I can tell you now is that my name is Christine, I am a Filipina and I am a huge DBSK/THSK/HoMin/JYJ and AKB48 fangirl. It doesn't matter if I can't tell you lots of things about me now, as this will be my new blogging site, I will be posting almost everyday. You'll learn more about me eventually. And well, I answer meme occasionally so you can get answers to some questions too.

My goal for today ahm rather tonight is to customize this blog. I have zero photoshop skills let alone html editing so I know I'm gonna suck at this but I'll see what I can do. :) As long as it is to my liking, I wouldn't be too pissed not to continue. lmao.

So I guess that's it for now. You'll see me a lot, I swear. xD Ta-ta for now! ^^